So, Captain Beardface and I went home to West Virginia to visit my family over the July 4th weekend. My parents live in a very rural area which takes about 2 wagons, 4 oxen and a couple of spare axles to visit.
It's about an eight hour drive to my folks' house, but this time it took about ten hours because I have to eat every few hours or I turn into the Antichrist.
Anyhoo...once arriving at my parent's house, my dad suggested that Beardface and I roam the mountainous property and collect blackberries. Seeing as I like to eat (reference previous paragraph) we decided it would be a good idea.
My parents live on a huge farm and my father reminded us as we were ready to ascend the blackberry mountain to "watch for the livestock."
Beardface and I cross the barbwire fenceline and start climbing. A few minutes later we discover these beautiful little pieces of fruit that we had been searching. We carefully avoid the briars to collect the fresh blackberries when we hear an ominous sound.
"Mooooooo" creeps the sound from what I thought was a good distance.
"Was that a cow?" asks Beardface.
Amazed that a rocket scientist would actually lack the ability to decipher a cow from a serial killer I reply "Yes, ass-hat, that is indeed a cow. He's far though, so don't freak out."
It was after assuring Beardface of the cow's coordinates that I turn to see this image below.
I was dead wrong about the cow's whereabouts. I was also suspicious of this cow cause she looked like she wasn't thrilled with us being on her side of the fence. She starts approaching pretty quick when I tell Beardface "dude, don't run. We want to calmly get out of her way."
We start casually marchin' down the hill when suddenly this cow starts trucking like it's qualifying for time-trials. Here's the picture I took before Beardface and I hopped the fence and slid the rest of the way down the mountain.
It was after gasping for breath once we got back to my parents' house that my dad said "ya, know, I think the cows are in heat."
Thanks, Dad for reminding us AFTER THE FACT that you had some randy cows in the spot you suggested we visit. At least I would have had picture had I needed to press charges.