Will I Ever Learn
by Kotter
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posted Jul 7 2010 10:17AM
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Will I Ever Learn?
"Will I ever learn?" It's a simple question that you think would come with an easy "yes" or "no" answer. Will I ever learn...to start exercising? Yes. Will I ever learn...quantum physics? No. Will I ever learn...too much alcohol causes one hell of a headache? Yes. Will I ever learn...to stop drinking because it? No. Simple stuff right? So what about this question, "Will I ever learn...to stop challenging Billie Marshall to stupid little contests?" Let's start by looking at the pro's and con's of the situation. Con...I usually lose. Con...I usually lose in public or on video. Con...because of my loss I usually find myself in some sort of humiliating predicament. Pro...um...ah...well there was the one time I...no wait I lost. What about the time...no I lost then to. So my victories over Billie are few and far between. Ok if you want to get technical I guess you would have to say my ONE, LONELY victory has been few and far between. Ok if you want to get really technical I didn't even have to do anything for the victory since it came when the Sand Gnats beat the team from West Virginia, but it was still a victory and it was SWEET! Having Billie bow down before me on stage in front of over 4000 people is a moment I will never forget. So the question was, "Will I ever learn...to stop challenging Billie Marshall to stupid little contests?", and after a lot of consideration and the thought of continual grief and ridicule I realized something...I'm a freaking Cubs fan! I've been putting up with lose and unrealized potential my entire life! So like a few loses are going to stop me from stepping up, cause my chances of besting Billie Marshall GOT to be better than the Cubs winnig the World Series! So the answer to the question, "Will I ever learn...to stop challenging Billie Marshall to stupid, little contests?" is no! Wait...scratch that...it's HELL NO! And when the day comes that I once again defeat Billie Marshall the beer will flow and the celebration will continue into the wee hours of the morning and I will party just like if the Cubs had won the World Series.
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